I received heartbreaking news on Saturday evening that one of my college roommates was in the final weeks of life after years of battling cancer. By Sunday morning, I and other close friends learned that her family would welcome a visit and so began the flurry of emails to make a bittersweet reunion happen this week. My children knew I would be gone for a few days and were actually a bit upset by this. Katelyn kept saying that she didn't want me to go which is gratifying but doesn't make leaving in such a rush any easier.
Last night, the girls got into a snit with each other and Kate in particular felt wronged. I pulled her on my lap, soothed her, helped her see where she was wrong, and generally fixed the whole problem. Andy and I asked her to be giving and generous with her sister this week while I was gone because I told her it would be so hard to leave knowing they were at odds with one another. She tearfully promised she would be kind and she was sent to bed feeling loved and reassured.
This morning it hit me. I can't hardly leave three days without the whole family feeling my loss. Mothers are uniquely gifted at keeping harmony in a home. My friend Susan is leaving forever and her children will be robbed of the one who is most able to calm and guide through the heartbreaks of life. My mom still is essential to me and I can't imagine losing her. It is brutally unfair when young children lose their mama.
Really, there are no words. I'm just hugging my treasured children a little closer today.